This year, Christmas parties with students were a blast! For every class, we played "White Elephant" and I told students the week before that they had to bring 1 present, funny, serious, homemade, found or purchased, and had to wrap it. They all came to class, eager with their gifts, and we arranged their desks in a giant circle, putting the gifts in the center. They were so excited and brought lots of food and drinks to share, too.
In China, there isn't any celebration that can quite compare to our Christmas. Many will say that Chinese New Year's (Spring Festival) is comparable, as it is certainly the biggest holiday in China, but it's quite different. For one, no one exchanges gifts during Spring Festival; instead they give money to children/students in red envelopes for good luck, and for another (amongst other things), there are no religious holidays in China, so it's really lacking the same feel. That being said, in Chinese culture, it is considered greedy and rude to open gifts in front of the person who gives it to you, so usually people will leave a gift wrapped until they go home and open it in solitude, sending thanks (or not, depending on how close you are) afterwards. Lastly, and this is one cultural difference I still struggle with, close friends and family are never to say "thank you" (or "sorry," "I love you," etc.) to each other because that is a sign that you are not comfortable enough with each other or familiar enough with each other to simply know how the other feels. Many of my Chinese friends are constantly reprimanding me for saying "thank you" or "sorry" to them, as they think that makes our friendship less meaningful. So, that being said, I was very unsure of how a game like "White Elephant" would go over, as it is based on stealing gifts and eagerly anticipating the present you will receive.
Fortunately, my students are very open, and were incredibly eager to participate in this holiday festivity! The week prior, we talked about The Christmas Story and the meaning behind exchanging gifts, so this week we simply focuses on having fun and enjoying ourselves. Students LOVED it! Each student, as they went up to pick out their gift, forgot their typical Chinese manners and shook each present, laughing and getting help from friends trying to pick out what was most likely to be the best gift. And their gifts were a hoot! Some went all out and brought lovely, special gifts (1 even gave a USB stick!), which is really special since Chinese gifts simply revolve around food instead of things, and others were funny with their gifts, bringing things like face masks, a small piece of candy wrapped in a big box, soap, toothpaste, etc. It was so funny to see them in action! Sometimes you could tell they felt uncomfortable opening the gifts in front of everyone, and didn't know quite how to behave, and other times students eagerly ripped open their gifts, all apprehensions aside. I absolutely loved it! And so did they! The only thing that was culturally different was that no one stole gifts from their peers, as is the case with White Elephant. I kept reminding them that they could, and occasionally a student would pretend like he/she wanted to, but not one did, as that, I think, was too much of a cultural taboo for them. I always felt bad for the student who had the highest number since, unlike when Americans play and the last gets the best gift, here the last always had last choice. Poor dears! Haha.
The most interesting thing that happened this week during our parties, for sure, was also the most horrifying thing I've ever had happen in a classroom before! As you all know, my students are college sophomores, and most are very close in age to me. This has never really presented a problem, as they respect me as a teacher and treat me as a teacher; in fact, I think it's been better that we're closer in age as it helps them relate to me more, ask more personal cultural questions, and form closer relationships, while still seeing me as a person of authority and respect. That being said, it's also important to note that there is no legal drinking age in China (that I know of… there may be an age limit, but it's certainly not observed) and drinking is a common thing to have at any professional, social event. Well, in one of my classes, one girl went up to pick out her gift and low and behold, what did she unwrap but a small bottle of Bai Jiu (like Vodka, only worse). My initial reaction was absolute horror and shock, but as I looked around at my students' faces, none of them seem shocked, nervous, defiant, or anything of the sorts that I'd expect to see in an American classroom. As some of you already know, I've pretty much adapted to the "don't want to lose face" culture, and part of that is that, in classrooms, teachers never yell at students or reprimand them in front of their peers, as it is a loss of face not only for the student, but also the teacher. I made a comment that let them know I was shocked, but figured as long as she put it away it was okay and didn't call for a loss of face on anyone's part. The game continued as normal and continued to be fun and light-hearted and no one seemed the least bit flabbergasted by the unusual gift of Bai Jiu so I let it go. After White Elephant, however, we just had an open party with Christmas music, food, etc. Well, what to my surprise but I look over and my student is approaching me with the open bottle of alcohol, a cap filled, and she offered it to me, "Ms. Fei Fei, would you like some?!" Now, in China, it's also very rude to ever refuse a toast, but that was the least of my concerns as all I could think of was "Dear God, I'm going to lose my job!" I couldn't hold myself back as I said "Of course not! Put that away!" but my students simply laughed light-heartedly and began passing the cap around, toasting each other. I couldn't believe it! I was terrified out of my mind, but I couldn't help but notice that none of them seemed worried. As it is extremely unusual for Chinese students to ever disrespect a teacher, and because we are incredibly close and they would never (I think) do anything to defy me, I knew I must be missing something. I said loudly, "You know, if this happened in America, I would lose my job!" and my students gasped, laughed, and said, "Not here! It's okay!" and continued to pass it, offering it to me again (and I again refused). So, before I knew it, the bottle (tiny) was empty, and I had had my first experience with students' drinking in the classroom. And apparently it was an okay thing to have happen (?). Lesson in culture number 100000001… Goodness!
Haha, in other funny (and humiliating) news, with World's AIDS day on December first, I had an AIDS lesson for my students planned. Unfortunately, that week I got very sick with the flu and pink eye and had to reschedule most of the classes, so we had our AIDS classes on Monday and Tuesday of this week. Wow. What an experience! In China, there is no sex education, and as it turned out, my students knew absolutely nothing about safe sex (although many of them have very serious boyfriends/girlfriends) and very little about their bodies! So I, at 23 years old, very unprepared to go this in-depth, had to teach my students, ages 19-22, about safe sex, abstinence, AIDS, STDs, male/female anatomy, and even had to show them what a condom was and how it was used. It was absolutely the most challenging, embarrassing (!!!!) lesson I've ever given in my life (ohhhh the naïve questions they asked! And the language I had to use to help them understand!), but at the end of every class my students clapped (!!), thanked me, and told me it was the most meaningful lesson they've ever had. Every class! It was odd how they really weren't embarrassed (even though I was mortified) and instead were really eager for answers. It was definitely cool . . . in an awful I-can't-believe-this-harmless-AIDS-Statistics-lesson-turned-into-sex-education kind of way.
Hmm…. Let's see. I made a new friend at the Post Office on Thursday, which was also an embarrassing story. As I have acclimated to the culture, I have adapted to the "no lines" rule. Honestly, there is NO SUCH THING as lines in Guiyang, everyone just pushes to the front. It's how it works. And I've acclimated. And it's never been a problem. So, at the post office, I marched to the front, called the woman over (who was busy helping someone else, but that's just how things are done here: sink or swim) and told her what I wanted. Well, much to my surprise, the guy standing next to me looked at me in a very accusatory way. I about melted in my humiliation. I felt my face getting hot as I realized that not only did I do something rude, but that this boy knew what I did was rude and was calling me out on it by giving me that look. My face completely lost, I told the worker that I was sorry for cutting and to please help this boy, first, making me lose even more face by having to apologize. The accusing boy then, in English, said to me "your Chinese is good." This is a common phrase by Chinese people who want to start an English conversation, only I, so embarrassed and lacking all face, couldn't respond. I only gave a shy smile in appreciation and then turned away, humiliated by the fact that he made me lose face and called me out on my rude behavior and now was being nice to me. The boy wasn't giving up, however, and then said "are you a teacher or a student?" In my mortified state, I slowly turned to him, wondering why he wanted to talk to me after making me feel so awful (clearly I was the victim here), and then his strange accent dawned on me. My mind raced: who is this boy? How did he know my actions were rude? He must be from the east of China? Where is his accent from? Has he studied abroad? Is he possibly foreign? And then I said "Are you Australian?" And the boy, casually, said "Actually I'm Hong Kong-Swedish, but I studied in Ireland for the past 5 years, hence the Irish-Swedish accent." And that's how I made my new friend, Julian, the English, Swedish, Gaelic, Russian, Cantonese and Mandarin-speaking Hong Kong-Swed. As awful as I was to him, he was quick to forgive me, we chatted a great deal, and then he invited me to his place for a dinner party that night (I brought Kari along), where I was greeted by a delicious Irish and Russian meal, a bottle of Jameson and imported Gin and a few of his friends from Sweden, Ireland, Canada and the US. Guiyang apparently has a lot more foreigners than I knew of!
Well, that's about it for now. Tonight a few of my close students are coming over for another cross-cultural dinner, and tomorrow marks the beginning of final exams (for the next two weeks) and more Christmas parties (with foreigners, this time). Lots of exciting stuff to look forward to!
I wish you all the best! :)
P.S. Due to extraneous circumstances, I didn't get to go to Anshun to celebrate Winter Solstice/Dog Eating Day. Instead, I stayed in Guiyang and ate lamb, as that's apparently "the other" warming meat one can eat to keep warm all winter. Dog will come, though, at a later date. :)
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