Saying Goodbye to Didi

Today I said goodbye to my dear little Didi, my Chinese brother, and I had no idea this goodbye was even coming.

If those of you remember, this summer I met a boy who came from a bit of a dysfunctional family and whose schooling was less than adequate.  I spent the summer working to teach him English, and we formed what mostly became a youth development bond more than a tutoring session.  Now that school is back in session, we have found that we haven't been able to spend as much time together as we would like, although we frequently speak on the phone.  I absolutely love this kid, and from the moment we met we've had a really special bond.

This morning, Didi ("Jake") called to ask if I would like to hang out and play basketball today.  I was reluctant, since I was looking forward to a Saturday of pajamas, movies and GRE study, and told him the common American white lie used when we wish to get out of something: "I don't feel well." Didi, however, was relentless and insisted that, even if I didn't want to hang out, he had to come over to tell me some "important information" (he spoke only Chinese except to repeat "important information" in English because he got that off a translator; it was really cute!).  I asked him to tell me over the phone because I "didn't want him to get sick" (trust me, I feel terrible now) and he maintained that he couldn't tell me on the phone, that we needed to see each other, and so finally I agreed that he could come over.

Thank God he came over.  It turns out my little Didi's parents have not been doing very well.  He told me that they quarrel too much, and as a result, they are moving in with Didi's dad's parents in a small town about 7 hours away in Guizhou's rural countryside (it's VERY common for married couples and their children to live with the husband's family) and, I'm assuming, work on improving their marriage through closer family bonds.  They leave next week.  Poor Didi, who is only 15 (which is a VERY important age in Chinese students' study as it is the schooling age that determines if they'll go to a good high school or not), is being pulled from his school and everything he knows and was only given a week's notice! The town he is going to, because it is so rural, will have a far worse education system than the one he is currently in, and he told me he will go to class for fewer hours than he's currently enrolled (I'm not sure how that works).

We spent hours talking.  Didi told me that after two years he would try to return to Guiyang simply so that we can see each other again. I felt awful telling him there is very little chance of me being here in two more years.  When I told him that I would probably be leaving Guiyang next summer, the look on his face completely broke my heart.  I didn't realize that all this time he thought I'd be here for good. Looking back at that moment, I am not looking forward to leaving here and facing that same goodbye over and over again.  When he finally left a few hours later, after we exchanged multiple communication methods and gifts (which I thankfully had American gifts handy), he gave me 3 hugs (hugs are so special and rare in China!) and got teary eyed telling me how he'll probably never see me again. It was a really strange and sad moment for me.  I am so regretful that he's leaving! And even more so that he's going to a place where it will be difficult for him able to get out of and create a better life for himself. I suppose all there is to do is pray that this move is God's plan for him, and trust in the rest.

In less sad news to report, yesterday was the start of my "Cross-Cultural Cooking Night" that I'm doing with a few former female students (who are now juniors in college). Since we became so close last year, want to spend more time together this year, and all want to learn more about cooking, each week one of us will take turns preparing a meal and teaching something about culture (because they all come from different hometowns and in China, even though they're all from the same province, different cities have different dishes and customs).  Last night was my turn, and so we had baked chicken breast, salad (they've never had raw vegetables or chicken breast before--they eat chicken all the time but only eat the parts we ignore!), garlic bread, wine and brownies with coffee for desert.  I taught them American table manners and how to use a fork and knife (which they've also never used before) and had jazz music with candlelight for setting the mood. It was a lot of fun being with my girls again! Next Friday, one of the girls (who is from Guiyang) is having us over to her parents home to have dinner with her family and play majiang (mahjong – a Chinese game which I LOVE to play!), which should be a really cool experience!

So that's the update for now.  GRE is fast approaching, and I just cannot take studying seriously, no matter how hard I try.  It seems every moment I dedicate to studying gets appropriated by what seems to be more important matters, like spending time with Didi today, cooking with the girls yesterday, playing with neighborhood kids the day before, learning more Chinese, reading novels, hiking, yoga… Perhaps now is not the right time for graduate school…

Enough of that. I leave this blog on a request that you pray for Didi's well being, for the families of some of our volunteers, especially Kim and Kari, who are facing difficult times of illness and death back home, and for my young friend Justin back in Dubuque, who just lost his mom to a heart attack.  It seems difficult times are surrounding a lot of the people I love and care about and I just hope and pray for the best for all of them! I also pray that all of you who read this are well, happy and healthy! God bless!