Instead, I'm going to write a brief blog about my accounts yesterday, because I think it's a pretty accurate portrayal of life in China, and summarizes everything I've been going through that is making me a more "flexible" and "patient" person. Plus, it demonstrates that I now have more guanxi. :)
Okay, so yesterday I go to American Film class, eager and ready to show Mona Lisa's Smile (we're currently tackling the issue of "what does it mean to be 'woman': is there such thing as a good woman/bad woman"?), only to walk into an empty classroom … literally. None of my 50+ students were in attendance, there were no chairs, no TV, no DVD player, nothing. So…class starts in 10 minutes…what do I do? Well, I assume I've been kept in the dark (again) about something, and march up to the English office. Also empty. Oh, this is swell. Just flippin' swell. Is all I could think. So I decide to do the rational thing and walk every hallway of our five floors, hoping to find either a faculty member in the know or one of my many MIA students. First floor: nothing. Second floor: nothing. Third floor: nothing. Fourth floor: nothing but I'm really tired. Fifth floor: there they are! And now I'm 10 minutes late to my own class. Turns out they moved the classroom on me (again) and hauled the entire humungous TV and its stand all the way up to the top floor. So there was my first frustration, followed by the frustration that, in this new classroom, the TV sits too low and half of the class cannot see the screen, let alone read the subtitles (which they absolutely need in order to follow the speed of native speakers), and (go figure) only one speaker works in this classroom so they have to strain to hear the TV anyways. It was torture.
Right before this class started (backtracking a bit), as I was gathering my things from my apartment and heading out the door, my phone rang. I was skeptical about answering but figured that, since it's right before class, there was a good chance it was a student telling me he/she was ill and not coming. Well, it was a student, but not a film student. It was Luna, one of my Speaking/Listening girls, who excitedly told me that she and 5 of my other sophomores are performing "something" today and they really want me to come see it. I told her I had class until 4, and they she happily exclaimed "perfect, it's from 4:30-5:30! Please come! We really want you to come watch us!" Well, how does any teacher turn down a sweet offer like that? So I said I would, and I even got excited. I had no idea what this was for, where it was, what they were performing, who it was for, or well, anything.
As soon as film class got out, I met Luna and we walked over to this giant stage in the middle of campus (outside). There were LOTS of people there, cameras, lights, microphones, the works. My students were all dressed in matching red shirts with some silver sticker-things on their cheeks. The moment I approached them, I had the silver sticker-things slapped on my cheeks before I knew what was happening. Then they hand me a slip of paper with a Chinese phrase on it and say "okay Ms. Fei Fei, this is what you're going to say." What? Say? To whom? Yes, it's true. After 10 minutes of practicing a phrase and not knowing why I was practicing it, I finally got it out of them that I will be going on stage with them and I am also "performing." I still had no idea what they were performing, what this "concert" was for, or why all of these people in their mid-twenties who clearly weren't students kept asking me to pose on camera with them. This is China.
As it turns out, this wasn't a performance at all. It was a promotional deal for China Unicom (a huge cell phone company). They go to every campus in Guizhou, students do a small skit/talk about themselves in their groups on stage, and then a series of judges rate who was the best and then the winners from every campus will go to a big national competition with against all other winners of Guizhou province. I was their laowai cheerleader.
So, I step up on stage (having no idea what the spokeswoman is saying…I'm sure I looked like a deer caught in headlights), am handed a microphone (no idea why), assume this is when I'm supposed to yell out the Chinese slogan my students gave me earlier, so I did just that. Well, no, that's NOT what I was supposed to do. It turns out the spokeswoman asked me a question on why I think this group should be the winners for Guiyang University. Haha, so I made a fool of myself, but actually it turned out to be funny because, when translated, my phrase was "UNI-For (their name), For-UNI, we support you forever!" So…that's….why I think they should win….? Anyways, after this I had to play some stupid game (on stage…on TV) where Luna has her back turned to a trash bin, and I'm supposed to tell her how to throw these little birdies into the trash bin ("more to the right" "a little softer"…).
Long story short: my team won. So apparently I'm doing this again for some provincial thing? I am now the proud owner of a plastic 6 inch "Yuber," the mascot of China Unicom. Go UNI-For!
;)
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