Weirdest Day Ever

I had a great day of classes today, followed by a series of weird (emphasis on weird) events.  I came home only to discover Wang Tang Jian and Li Xiao were not home, but in their place was "Auntie," Li Xiao's sister-in-law (I think?), making dinner.  She prepared a great feast (have I mentioned yet that every day for breakfast, lunch, and dinner we have more food than a typical Thanksgiving meal?? Because we do. Daily. And tonight's dinner was double that amount. In oil.) which, amongst other things, consisted of chicken's feet.  Yes. Chicken's feet.  Visit my flick'r site for a photo of chicken's feet in the market place and you'll know just how . . . odd . . . an experience it was.  Very very very very odd, for lack of a kinder word.

 
After dinner, Da Wei (my good buddy Dave) called (my first house call!!) and invited me over to study at his place, which I eagerly accepted.  I was confident I knew the way because I had walked there before and so I denied him when he offered to meet me somewhere.  Well, for those that know my talent with direction, you know that it is nonexistent...negative talent.  Before long, I was completely lost and, having no idea how to say "help me, I'm lost," I approached some security guards (they're posted everywhere) and said, to the best of my ability (in Chinese), "excuse me, may I ask, American is where?", under the correct assumption they knew who I was talking about (considering there are only 3 other meigoren in my community and most Chinese people who live around here have never seen any weigoren before us . . .).  Well, aside from the fact that they were floored I asked them for help, they didn't know, they only knew that the meigoren lived in "that" general direction, but that wasn't good enough for them . . . they made me enter their security chamber, sit, and wait while they asked everyone they could find where the tall-boy-meigoren lived.  After at least 10 minutes of my repeating "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, thank you, thank you, thank you," dumb Fei Fei remembered that she had Da Wei's phone number in her purse . . . .Sooo I pulled it out, embarrassed as ever, and had them call for me.  Then, rather than give me directions, I was (naturally) escorted to his door.  However, as with all things today, the walk there only got increasingly weirder.

 
A man, picture a robotic Asian man with a big head, big eyes, and no facial expressions, saw me walking towards him.  He robotically (literally, legs straight, arms straight) marched towards me, waved, and in the best English I've heard out of any Chinese individual said "Hello! I love America! I love Regan! Regan is my father! I love Jackson! 'We are the world we are one people we are the you and the me and the one world! I love Jackson! I love Regan! He is my father!'" while dancing . . . straight faced . . . . Michael Jackson style.
Out. Of. Control.  THEN he reached in his pocket and gave me a booklet in Chinese and said "we are friends. Byebye now." and walked away. 

 
After asking Da Wei's host family what the book was, I discovered that Robotic Chinese Man was a Chinese version of our Jehovah's Witnesses.  Good God, yes, it was a book on religion.  Buddhist religion.  But not cool Buddhist religion . . . Weird Buddhist religion. Because everything is weird today.  He was trying to save me: Buddha-style. 

 
Oh wait, we don't stop there with the weird.  After studying with Da Wei, I walked home alone (people are EVERYWHERE here so by alone I mean I went by myself and was surrounded by Chinese) and, while walking, heard someone running towards me.  I turned (a bit anxious because I never hear running and especially towards me as most are slightly leery of the meigoren) and discovered a girl (my age-ish) --

 
Sorry, I have to interrupt the story to point out the last oddity of my night….while typing this, I just god EXTREMELY sick and had to run to the bathroom.  Chicken feet = no good. If ever offered, don't eat it. ;)

 
--I turned and discovered a girl (my age-ish) running at me.  She caught up and, breathless, exclaimed "hello!".  This isn't uncommon, I get a lot of hellos, and while the running was weird, I didn't think much about it and said "hello, ni hao" in return (as I always do when being addressed in such a manner.  Tonight, however, I wasn't so lucky as to smile, say a few words, and walk on.  This girl, this CRAZED girl, marched with me all the way home, asking me to be her teacher of English and (I think?) asking me to take her home with me.  I acted like I couldn't understand her (partially true) and told her I was very late and had to return home.  When we reached my apartment complex, I loudly said "duibouchi, zaijian" (I'm sorry, goodbye!) so that everyone outside could hear I wanted her to leave.  Then I slipped inside and told my host family all about it. . . They were just as surprised by today's events as I was, so I'm glad to hear this wasn't a cultural thing . . . I just had wein BUchihao (bad luck) today. 

 
Here's the real kicker: When I was on campus this afternoon, outside of my classroom there was an injured bat.  Remember when I got bit by an injured bat (on my home campus, incidentally enough) trying to help it (how could anyone forget . . . Front page Lorian News, wuddup!) and had to go through that whole rabies ordeal? Yeah. I remember, too.  Guess what?! Some of the other Peace Corps girls today were saying "Ohh, it's so sad, I want to help it!" WEIRD! We really DO have similar spirits (and stupidities).  Fortunately, they were not nearly as idiotic or spontaneous as I was and didn't actually touch the bat. 

 
Injured Bat + Chicken Feet + Lost + Michael Jackson/Ronald Regan Robotic Chinese Man + Obsessive Girl + Very sick = WEIRD DAY!!! GOODNIGHT!!

***Note: this was written last night.  It is morning now, and when I woke up I told my family that I was sick throughout the night and didn't want a big breakfast.  This turned into a huge deal and they wanted to call Peace Corps and their family doctor and everyone and, after much insistence that I was okay, then tried to throw away everything in their kitchen, convinced it contaminated me.  It was sweet, but frustrating.  I told them that it was the restaurant's (where I had lunch) fault and that their food (including chicken feet) was delicious and healthy and good for me and not to worry.  They told me they care about me very much and do not want me to suffer. I love them. :) For breakfast, conscious of my upset tummy, they gave me three giant egg-wheat cakes instead of 5. How good of them. ;)

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"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it is the only thing that ever has." -Margaret Mead