Wednesday, April 25, 2007

My heart has failed me

Blast my uncooperative heart! I say this with an element of humor, but, to be honest, this has been a miserable day.
China requires extra medical exams done before they will administer a visa. They're simple tests: HIV tests 1&2, Chest X-Ray, EKG (heart), and another lab one (maybe Syphilis? I can't remember...). Regardless, I went in two weeks ago to have this all completed, confident that everything would come back normal because I certainly don't have any STDs and I've never had any heart or lung problems, so I wasn't worried. However, my EKG computer interpretation came back "Abnormal/Normal." My doctor stressed that the reading was "perfect for someone your age" and that it was a minor blunder by the computer and could have been triggered for a variety of reasons. That night, I ended up coming down with symptoms which I later found out to be a case of both strep throat and an upper respiratory flu. This being said, when Peace Corps called and said I was put on medical hold because of the "Abnormal" printout, I wasn't worried, and neither were they. Peace Corps informed me that China will not let me in with "Abnormal," but that my illness was more than likely the cause and that, as soon as my antibiotic was finished, I should go get another EKG.
Today, I went to a cardiologist (last time I had my regular physician do it) to have it performed. We both were confident that nothing would go wrong (when I say "confident," I really mean: scared out of my mind), and when it printed out, the cardiologist took one look and said, "Well, this shouldn't be a problem. We don't worry about this reading and it's better than 'abnormal'." He then showed me the printout and this is what it read:
Interpretation:
Normal sinus rhythm with sinus arrhythmia
Incomplete right bundle branch block
Borderline ECG
He then wrote "most likely Normal Variant" and signed it. I began having doubts, but the cardiologist (a wonderfully sweet man from Syria who told me I had a beautiful smile and that China would be blessed to have me...bless his soul) assured me this was not a reading they worry about.
That being said, I was still a bit anxious and called PC as soon as I left the office. Starcrossed as I've been lately, I got the voice mail of the woman who has been taking care of my case, informing me that she is out of the office for four days. After trying a new number, I was able to speak with her assistant, who sounded skeptical and said "I don't think China will take that EKG. But let me have someone else give you a call."
The second I closed my phone I broke into tears, standing alone in the Mercy Hospital parking lot. The stress of being told my dog (my favorite soul in the entire world who I have had and loved like a brother for 11 years) has prostate cancer and will more than likely be dead by next week, being told my loans have been accruing interest because I accidentally consolidated my Perkins, and the stress of having to deal with this EKG drama all compiled and I completely lost it. Unable to drive, I sat in my car until the phone rang from Peace Corps again. It was another woman in charge of medical staging who also believed my EKG would not be accepted, but she said that I could fax it to her and that she would make sure by asking people "higher up," and, if need be, faxing it to China to have them verify whether or not I will be admitted into their country.
So that's where I'm at right now. On medical hold, completely healthy, but with a heart I spite because it doesn't cooperate when it should, laying next to my beloved dog, dieing of a faulty prostate. And all the while I am desperate for some sign that this will turn out for the best.

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